Even the most well-meaning white people have racist thoughts. Despite our efforts, racism is ingrained in us from birth and enforced in our thinking and behavior throughout our lives. If you are ready to try some new ideas and strategies to uncover and uproot the racism in your thinking and behavior, check out these free resources.
I just finished a book with some interviews that shocked me and I want to share some of what I learned with you along with some actions white people can take to unlearn the twisted thinking he describes. The book is “Dying of Whiteness: How the Politics of Racial Resentment is Killing America’s Heartland”, the author is Jonathan M. Metzl.
The book is full of interviews and deep data dives into the “heartland” of the US. He found direct evidence that white people would rather die than lose our perceived place in the racial hierarchy. Now maybe this doesn’t initially surprise you but when he shared a story of a man dying of liver failure who “voices a literal willingness to die for his place in this hierarchy rather than participate in a system that might put him on the same plane as immigrants or racial minorities” It hit me hard. He is talking about actually dying of lack of healthcare and being glad to do it!
Whenever I am furious, angry, embarrassed, confused, by another white person’s take on racial matters I know that I can make a real and immediate difference by searching within myself for these attitudes, rooting them out and actively unlearning them. This process makes a difference for the next person of color who interacts with me, helps me make better decisions about systemic interventions or actions I want to take and keeps me out of fear when I talk to other white people about racism.
Here is the practice I came up with for this week, I would love to hear what you think about it…
Dying of Whiteness 1 -Whiteness Cards
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Thank you for everything you do to make this world a better place!
This week I got a question from a podcast listener: “Can you talk about how to manage interactions with racist family members over the holidays? What I really need are some go-to phrases and scripts. Both responding to racist comments, and how to get myself out of the situation if it gets bad. Soooooo all of my in-laws are some degree of racist. My father in law and brother in law say the most racist things most often. I have literally learned new racist terms from them – like I heard a word said in a derogatory fashion and looked it up later and was like OMG. I married into the family recently, and clearly no one has ever been called out on a racist comment ever. There is an in-law tradition of Christmas in another country and this is my first ever time attending! As a new family member I definitely have shaken up the dynamic a little bit just by, like, existing. For past trips with these folks when I have heard racist comments I kept my mouth shut – especially because my father in law pays for the trips. I am worried that my kids someday will literally have the worst ever racist uncle. So I want to start setting boundaries. But how? What do I say?”
